"We regret to inform you..." Here's what 4 years of rejection taught me.

Collectively, I've spent more than 4 years preparing applications to professional schools just to have them rejected. Here's what I learned.

Lesson #1: Don't take it personally

After spending months and pouring my heart and soul out into an application, I initially took the rejection pretty hard - it felt like the ultimate slap in the face; a universal decree that I wasn't good enough.

Really, though, the admissions committee doesn’t know me. They don’t know anyone who applies. All they have are a couple sheets of paper and maybe notes from a 15 minute interview.

So it can't be a rejection of me as a person - it's not because I'm intrinsically inadequate or unworthy. It's a rejection of my application. Some of my numbers weren't up to par. Or my extracurriculars weren't cool enough to make the cut. Or my personal statement wasn't eloquent enough.

It will take some thinking and some reflecting to figure out where my application is lacking, but these are all things that I can improve.

Lesson #2: Don't compare to anyone but yourself

It definitely rubbed some salt in the wound to open up Instagram or Reddit and see posts friends and acquaintances who had gotten their A. Don’t get me wrong, I still felt happy for them, but I also couldn’t help but compare. What made them so special that they got in, but not me?

I was pretty bitter, I know.

While sorting through some files on my computer, though, I came across my application from the year before. It totally sucked, but I was pleased to realize that my application from this year sucked a little less. Next year, my application would suck even less - it might even be kinda good.

Comparing myself to others sucked the life out of me, and left me feeling guilty and bitter. Instead, comparing myself to who I was last year, or even yesterday, made me feel energized and excited.

Lesson #3: Zoom out.

Honestly, it was super easy for me to catastrophize. I thought the rejection was the end of the world, that I was falling behind all of my peers, and that I would never amount to anything in life.

Then I talked to my parents, who helped me zoom out and see the big picture. In the context of a life that lasts eight decades and a career of more than forty years, there was no rush to get a one or two year head start. It was totally okay to take my time and try again.

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